Zero-sum mentality is the idea that opportunities are scarce hence, they should be secretly devoured by one person alone. This mentality often plays out in relationships and businesses. This is usually in the form of competing to kill, rather than expanding the opportunity base - it also involves gossiping and engaging in smear talks about other people. So, how about we grow the pie?
Switching from zero-sum thinking to a mindset of abundance requires intentional efforts to allow you to see the big picture. Every time you try to outsmart another person with dishonesty, for your own personal gain, is a lost opportunity for future gain. It's why I worry about company staff members that steal from their workplace; your company will die and you will lose your job. Isn't that obvious? The owner can always liquidate everything and depending on their risk management strategy, be shielded to a large extent. But you, the poor staff, would remain poor and jobless. However, if you do your bit to the best of your ability, your value would increase and can subsequently provide a launchpad for you to other bigger opportunities.
Living life is tough but doing it alone is tougher. Especially when you constantly live in a fight or flee zone, leaving you little time to enjoy the best of it. This is applicable to how you view relationships - are you the friend that wants things to be done for you or the only time you engage people is when you need their assistance? Do you sometimes do things in expectation of certain reciprocation?
Keeping a scorecard of how you break your back for people that didn't ask is a gateway to disappointment rather do things for people because you enjoy the satisfaction that comes from being there for them. So as I seek friendships and relationships; these are the question that I ask myself; what values am I bringing to the table? How can I help this person on their journey to become the best version of themselves? No, don't get me wrong, we can't be ticking boxes every time to determine who will become our friends but mentally, there is a mutual exchange of values and vibes.
Sometimes last year, Prosper Otemuyiwa wrote this piece “Who is speaking on your behalf? It's a beautiful piece to read, it helps you understand that you can't do everything and can't capture every opportunity. Thus, advocate for your folks and let the breakfast go round. You will achieve more for yourself that way.
A great community is a great leverage, invest in your friends' growth projects and see how everyone would be better for it.